September 15, 2019
Ow, My Dick – Cyanide & Happiness Shorts

Ow, My Dick – Cyanide & Happiness Shorts


*Club music* ‘excuse me, ‘excuse me. Sorry. Sorry. Coming through! I just need to… get Sorry. I need to- Just get around. Okay. *CRUSH* OW, MY DICK!!!! Ow, oooo! Owie!!!! Ow, my dick…. Did you hurt my dick? Was it you? It got hurt real bad just a minute ago over there on the dance floor! *Cries* Now it hurts real bad!!! Did you hurt my dick?! -Step off, dick! -No! I think someone stepped on it!!! Was it you?! My dick got hurt real bad!!! You seem like the kind of guy that would hurt someone’s DICK!!! -Get up off my lady, bro, or I’ll give you something to cry about! -I already have that! It’s my dick and it hurts! That’s why I’m crying already. My hurt dick… Was it you?! Did you hurt my dick? I promise I won’t be mad if it was you, but you have to tell me… -What about your dick?! Hey, this ain’t that kind of club, bro! Get bent! -It’s already bent! *Cries* Oooo!!! Punch me anywhere but my dick! I don’t think it could sustain another blow… *Guy walks away* Someone is this club hurt my dick and I’m having a hard time identifying them!! Can you use your PA system to address the whole crowd at once and ask them who it was?! Hey, hey!!! Somebody hurt my dick!!! -SOMEBODY HURT MY DICK!! ♫ *Somebody hurt my dick remixed* -Did you hurt my dick? Did you hurt my dick? Did you hurt my dick? Ow, ow! My dick, ow! Did you hurt my dick!? Oooo, ow! Was it you? I promise not to judge you too harshly. Tell me. TELL ME!! *Cries of pain in the distance* -Did you hurt my tits? Did you hurt my tits? -Did you hurt my dick? -Did you hurt my tits? -It hurts real bad. If it was you, I promise I won’t be mad. -I just need you to tell me… Ooh, -HEY, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

100 thoughts on “Ow, My Dick – Cyanide & Happiness Shorts

  1. To spare people the pain of watching this short, it’s just some guy crying about his dick the whole time.

  2. I just realized at 2:04, the contract is by Richard Buster but an alias for Richard is Dick so his name is literally Dick Buster lmao

  3. The only part that comes close to being funny is when he pouts that no one cares about his 'problem'. The rest of it is so unfunny it hurts.

  4. Kids have no sense of humor these days. Maybe if they had sex before they would've at least laughed in the end. But kids have no attention span so they probably disliked and stopped watching not even halfway through the vid.

  5. Coming back 3 years later I realized on the sign it says Richard Buster. Richard can also equal the name Dick, so Dick Buster.

  6. the guys who hurt his dick are guy in teal at 0:26 the guy in Orange at 2:00 and guy in blue at 0:18 or for the lazy people at 0:18

  7. Should’ve ended after the DJ sampled his voice and turned it into a remix. It went on too long and stopped being funny after that.

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