it’s 12:30 time to do Oliver’s blood
sugar again. Diabetes is relentless. I don’t know how to have a full night’s sleep now. I wake up at two o’clock no matter what even if he’s not with me. I’m just designed that way now. I don’t like to burden people with what you have to do all the time because you just become boring. You just become this boring person that’s just whinging and moaning about the fact you’re so tired. I just do it you; just you get on. it’s just relentless and it’s just a constant worry about the consequences. Your emotional tank runs out very easily when you’re giving care constantly. I was recognising that I was feeling carer’s fatigue so I see a clinical psychologist myself once a month. This was a private arrangement. This is me asking key people in the organization, because I work as a specialist nurse anyway, to help me to skill up on the mental health side of things, to help my patients and also help me and help Oliver. As part of my emotional well-being I try to get out walking, running, exercising at least two to three times a week and that helps me to keep a healthy body as well as a healthy mind. Because I am a nurse as well there’s almost that kind of feeling of expectations that you can handle health problems but it’s very different when you’re kind of living with them. What else, it’s just a bit of escapism isn’t it. Oliver has had difficulty in dealing with his own emotions when it comes to diabetes. He got his diabetes bag and he threw it and just said ‘I don’t want it anymore, I can’t do it, I can’t I don’t want this life I don’t want to live like this anymore’. I mean what I did was hold him and just tell him that he’s going to be okay and that he can handle.. sorry. That he can handle it and he can do it. The hard bit is actually you’ve got to let them go. As a mum of a teenage child and the most powerful thing that I can do is to empower Oliver to go and live an independent happy, fulfilled life. When they’ve got diabetes it’s very scary thinking about actually what could happen. What I would like to see for the future would be an increase in amount of psychological well-being support and actually recognition that actually looking after mental health is equally as important as the physical health needs. And investment in those services to help support people and families like us. You know if you look after your emotional health and your mind then you can have a full fulfilling and happy life with a medical condition.